Father's Day: Earthly and Heavenly Father

Last night as I bury my head in my pillow crying, I ask God to help me through this rough patch in my life.  I began to look for answers as to why I felt so upset and found myself looking at my nightstand that holds books I had read from school and bible classes.  After a few glances at them I realized that God was telling me that there was something in those books that I needed to read.

[Around the middle of March I had moved back home, quit my job, and lost a lot of friends.  If it were up to me at that moment in time I would have chosen to like my job, my living environment would be up to my standards, and I would have a bunch of friends that were loyal to me.]  After all of this I felt as if I had very little left in my life... so I thought.  When I moved back I began to feel lonely and hopeless about what I was suppose to do with my life.  As I read these books it kept talking about men and relationships and guarding your heart and I was just so confused.  I thought to myself why would God want me to be reading these books... maybe I misunderstood what God wanted me to read.  I closed the book and looked at the cover and then it hit me, "Captivating"!  The feeling of loneliness was gone, I felt loved and captivated by Him.  Like a little girl with no worries of the world, I felt peace with myself.

Looking back at about 3 months ago now, I wouldn't have changed a thing.  Although I am living with my parents (which is a big step back for me and where I was in my life for 8 months) I am very blessed to have them to help me live my life in the best and healthiest way possible.  Not only am I blessed for having a loving family but I have an eternal love from God that makes me feel captivated by Him daily.

With that I say happy Father's Day to my earthly father, Scott Butler, and my heavenly Father!  You comfort me daily and provide the knowledge to get me through my daily walk!

Testing Your Faith

I hope that you understand what I write about.  A lot of the times I am all over the place with my words but that's how my brain thinks.  I apologize for this ahead of time and I can always try to write again... I hope you enjoy! :)

The other night my old roommate, Katheryn Cansino, and I visited an old friend for a few hours.  We ended up talking to my friend (we'll call him Cody) for two hours about our faith and Christianity.  Now long story short, we had our own opinions, stories, and different views on a bunch of topics, but the one thing that bothered me was that I felt everything Cody was saying about the bible was negative.  I will give him the plus of knowing the bible forwards and backwards and things to back up what he was saying... it was just disappointing to me to hear someone say like "why did God let this happen?", "why did he let Paul get into this?", etc.

Maybe he was right about everything but for me, the bible gives you stories for you to understand the power of God, no matter how bad any situation can be.  Cody kept saying all of these horrible things that happened to Paul, Adam, Moses, etc and I just kept saying to him that even though there are all of those things you have to hear the good in everything.

I personally believe that those small verses are more powerful than all those stories he kept talking about.  Honestly, you have to be able to see the good and the help God provides us in order to stay true to him.  We should think about all situations in our life and how God is there through good and bad.  He will never give you something that you can't handle.  I use to always think about this phrase I heard once: "I wish God didn't trust me so much."  I've learned that I have to be able to trust God.

Moments like these in your life is making you test your faith, see how strong your faith and trust really is.  I could have been persuaded by what Cody had told me all along but I knew what I believed in.  No he probably wasn't wrong but I don't think that he completely understood what we were trying to let him understand.

Today is the first day...

I woke up hoping there was a change today.  I was right!  Ever since I moved out of Abilene I haven't been feeling like myself.  Maybe it was the fact that my life wasn't going anywhere and things fell down the drain quickly, or I wonder if it was because of the things I was told by others.  No, I shouldn't let what people say bother me but I couldn't help it!


I remember I was on my way to Mississippi when I was told that someone wouldn't date me because I didn't work out and that I wasn't "in shape".  [I've always wanted to be able to go jogging every other day or something, but with my back I just can't do a lot.]  The next day, at my grandmother's house, I was in the bathroom upstairs brushing my teeth when I noticed a scale by the bath tub.  So I decided to weigh myself and see what the scale said and I was 10 lbs over what a girl my age and height needs to be.  Those words and numbers hit me... to the point where I stopped eating three meals a day (or even just two meals).


When I got home I told my mom that I was going on a diet.  I gave her an outline of things that I would eat for a week and little did I know she joined my diet too!  The next morning my mom and I got up, went for a walk at 8:30 a.m., cooked eggs (no milk to scramble the eggs in! MY FAVORITE!), and went shopping.  After a week I had lost 6 pounds but didn't feel too much better about my weight as I thought I should have.  Yeah the scale said I lost 6 lbs. but did I feel like I did? NO!


A few days later I got back into eating 2-3 meals a day with snacking in the middle of it.  I just felt hopeless for making myself feel good about my body.  Of course, I then gained a few pounds back... which wasn't making anything better.


All I could think was "exercise isn't going to make me feel good! Cheerleading never did and I had an intense work out 3-4 days a week because of that!"


Two weeks ago I decided to give exercising another chance.  The only reason I was doing this was because in the back of my mind I was thinking about that guy telling me he wouldn't date me or anyone else who didn't work out.  Yes, I'm stupid for letting what a guy says get to me but it's pushing me to do this and to me that's a good thing!  So my parents signed my brother and me up for Cooper's Fitness Center with them for the summer.  I am so excited to have my brother along my side because I know that he'll go when he can with me (always good to have a work out buddy).


After about two weeks of exercising I have lost about 6 or 7 pounds (with a little bit of dieting) and have felt better than ever!  Even better than I did when I was in competitive cheerleading.




It's swimsuit season and I'm feeling great (not amazing, but getting there) and I'm excited to feel this way!

My Growing Passion

My passion for my business is growing!  I am very pleased with what I have done and very proud of myself (not to toot my horn but toot toot! haha :] )

I would love for you to check it out at my website AE Productions>Gallery>Photos>Couples

My best friend and her boyfriend, Ashley League and Trent Deans, were kind enough to start my couples Gallery!!  Gotta love a good friend like her.