I woke up hoping there was a change today. I was right! Ever since I moved out of Abilene I haven't been feeling like myself. Maybe it was the fact that my life wasn't going anywhere and things fell down the drain quickly, or I wonder if it was because of the things I was told by others. No, I shouldn't let what people say bother me but I couldn't help it!
I remember I was on my way to Mississippi when I was told that someone wouldn't date me because I didn't work out and that I wasn't "in shape". [I've always wanted to be able to go jogging every other day or something, but with my back I just can't do a lot.] The next day, at my grandmother's house, I was in the bathroom upstairs brushing my teeth when I noticed a scale by the bath tub. So I decided to weigh myself and see what the scale said and I was 10 lbs over what a girl my age and height needs to be. Those words and numbers hit me... to the point where I stopped eating three meals a day (or even just two meals).
When I got home I told my mom that I was going on a diet. I gave her an outline of things that I would eat for a week and little did I know she joined my diet too! The next morning my mom and I got up, went for a walk at 8:30 a.m., cooked eggs (no milk to scramble the eggs in! MY FAVORITE!), and went shopping. After a week I had lost 6 pounds but didn't feel too much better about my weight as I thought I should have. Yeah the scale said I lost 6 lbs. but did I feel like I did? NO!
A few days later I got back into eating 2-3 meals a day with snacking in the middle of it. I just felt hopeless for making myself feel good about my body. Of course, I then gained a few pounds back... which wasn't making anything better.
All I could think was "exercise isn't going to make me feel good! Cheerleading never did and I had an intense work out 3-4 days a week because of that!"
Two weeks ago I decided to give exercising another chance. The only reason I was doing this was because in the back of my mind I was thinking about that guy telling me he wouldn't date me or anyone else who didn't work out. Yes, I'm stupid for letting what a guy says get to me but it's pushing me to do this and to me that's a good thing! So my parents signed my brother and me up for Cooper's Fitness Center with them for the summer. I am so excited to have my brother along my side because I know that he'll go when he can with me (always good to have a work out buddy).
After about two weeks of exercising I have lost about 6 or 7 pounds (with a little bit of dieting) and have felt better than ever! Even better than I did when I was in competitive cheerleading.
It's swimsuit season and I'm feeling great (not amazing, but getting there) and I'm excited to feel this way!